Tag: friendship

The Art of a Great Surprise

January 19, 2013

1sur·prise  noun sə(r)-ˈprīz 

Merriam-Webster defines a surprise as an attack made without warning. An attack sounds so violent. I choose to see a surprise as an art form. Here’s how my masterful plan unfolded. 

My friend Kate got engaged on New Year’s Eve. She told me the story that evening and I could feel the excitement through the phone. Little does my newly engaged friend know, but the moment we got off the phone I booked a flight to Greenville, SC to see her. Two friends were already planning a visit to South Carolina this weekend and there was no way I’d be missing out on the celebration. 

I guess I could have told my three amigas what I had in store, but where’s the fun in that? If you have a surprise in mind follow this foolproof plan. 

Find an accomplice. Enter Kate’s fiancé John. He lives in Greenville and after pulling off the greatest surprise of his life (ahem, the engagement) he was all in on surprise #2 for our girl Kate. This stud even picked me up from the airport. (Best not to get lost en route to the actual surprising – no time for that!)

Do your research. I got John to tell me as much of the plans as he knew. The last thing I wanted was to show up and they were off exploring for the entire day. I bought my ticket for the Biltmore Estate tour – even used the same discount code as the girls (the accomplice strikes again!). I followed these girls on Facebook like crazy. Of course they barely talked about the trip. Didn’t they want to help a sista out?  

Tell no one. (Let’s be practical; tell minimal people.) At first I only told my family. Then I started getting really excited so I shared the story more. However, I prefaced it with “IT’S A SURPRISE.” One Facebook post or tweet from someone about my travels and I could have been ruined. 

Plan ahead. I’ll be the first to admit that money is tight for me. I was able to make this trip happen thanks to airline points, an airport shuttle and spending a little less during the week. If you don’t collect points with an airline start NOW! Taking the cheaper, albeit less convenient, route can make a big difference. 

Keep the charade going. My email to the girls the Monday before the trip was titled “Weekend Skype Sesh + Living Vicariously Through You.” We planned for a Skype chat and I even sent a video greeting that they could watch together. After I recorded it I realized there was a bit of foreshadowing: “I can’t wait to celebrate with you soon…” 

What’s the best surprise you’ve pulled off? Let me know in the comments. Good luck to all my sneaky pals out there! 

Defining Conversations

September 28, 2012

One year ago I was en route to New York City preparing for 16 interviews over the course of the following two days. Hello overwhelming feat!

I did A LOT of talking throughout my interview process, but two conversations defined this particular week in my life. One came a few days before I left for NYC when the interviews weren’t falling into place as easily as I had hoped. I was primarily traveling to participate in informational interviews – as a way to get my foot in the door with these out-of-state agencies. I was concerned that I didn’t have what it took to land my dream job. My homeboy Britten put me (aka Humpty Dumpty) back together again. He reminded me not only how far I’d come, but that I was ready to kick butt and take names.

The second conversation came at the end of “Interview Day One” as I caught up with my good friend and colleague Cory. Cory was a constant in my ongoing quest to live the NYC dream. I believe she was still in the office late that night as I explained to her how exciting and mentally challenging the day had been, but she never once tried to cut the conversation. She listened to me as I talked about each agency and envisioned myself there while describing the smart people I interviewed with and the unique accounts they led. In reflecting with Cory, the part that stood out to me the most was how grateful I felt for being able to do the interview process all over again for a second day.

Think about one of those conversations you remember as if it were yesterday. Receiving a job offer? Someone saying “I love you”?

Now, think about how far you’ve come since that conversation. 

Friendship at first tweet

September 23, 2012

Do you believe in love at first sight? 

What about friendship at first tweet? 

Rich_tweet
This Twitter interaction happened hours before I even met Richard Boehmcke. Somehow fate (or in our case, social media) was telling us we would be friends.

So what happens when first meetings, like in the case with Rich, take place even before you get the first handshake? There are countless people I’ve met online before in person (and so many more that online is all we’ve got). 

I’ve written about first impressions before and I still believe a lot goes into making a good one. These are the four key components I believe make a great first impression: 

-Strong handshake
-Solid eye contact 
-Something to share
-Something to ask

When it comes to social media introductions the first two skip the physical component and instead relate to how attentive and engaged you are with the meeting. Consider your best conversations. All a good conversation takes is having a topic you want to share and being genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. 

During introductions what catches your attention? 

Friendship at first tweet

September 23, 2012

 

Do you believe in love at first sight? 

What about friendship at first tweet? 

https://twitter.com/i/#!/StephanieFlo/media/slideshow?url=http%3A%2F%2Ftwitpic.com%2F68dj7d

This Twitter interaction happened hours before I even met Richard Boehmcke. Somehow fate (or in our case, social media) was telling us we would be friends.

So what happens when first meetings, like in the case with Richard, take place even before you get the first handshake? There are countless people I’ve met online before in person (and so many more that online is all we’ve got). 

I’ve written about first impressions before and I still believe a lot goes into making a good one. These are the four key components I believe make a great first impression: 

-Strong handshake
-Solid eye contact 
-Something to share
-Something to ask

When it comes to social media introductions the first two relate to how attentive and engaged you are with the meeting. Consider your best conversations. All a good conversation takes is having a topic you want to share and being genuinely interested in what the other person has to say. 

During introductions what catches your attention? 

 

 

Friends can be good for you too

March 5, 2012

Since friendship is a frequent topic for my blog these facts from Glamour resonated with me.

They make you live longer. Strong friendships boost your chances of a longer life by 50 percent, research has found. But low social interaction packed the same bad-health punch as smoking 15 cigarettes a day!

They keep you well. Studies show women with supportive friends sleep and manage stress better and bounce back faster from diseases.

They make life’s hurdles bearable. Researchers from the University of Virginia took students wearing heavy backpacks to the base of a hill and asked them to estimate how steep it was. Guess what? Students who stood next to a friend said the hill looked less intimidating than those who were alone. Says study coauthor Dennis R. Proffitt, Ph.D.: “Being with—or even thinking about—our friends lightens the load.”

Have you picked up the phone today? Send a note to let your friends know how grateful you are to have them in your life.

[Theater Thursdays]: Always at Home with Theater

January 26, 2012

Activities like theater can truly mold a person. The bonds made hold strong for a lifetime and an auditorium becomes a second home. We learned these lessons, among many more, growing up with theater at Mother McAuley. It’s a great feeling to know you can always go home again. (Turns out the laughter of friends makes being 800+ miles away from home feel like I’m only a town away.) 

And a round of applause for the fabulous actors: PH, Coll, Karen, Lindsay, Laura, Jackie, Cassidy and the cast of 42nd Street.

Smitten by Friends

July 16, 2011

Smitten was the word I used to describe the way I felt after my reunion with my college roommates. With four different schedules we always intend to see each other, but that is far easier said than down. When one of our foursome said she’d be leaving us for a teaching opportunity in Kuwait we didn’t waste any time before plans were made.

While snacking on our favorite college food, we spent the evening talking about nights out, relationships and the infamous 111 E. Chalmers in Champaign, IL (the apartment we probably shouldn’t have spent two full years in). We joked about the day three of us would wear matching dresses in support of the fourth, discussed future travel plans and toasted our friendship up to this point.

My biggest takeaway from these girls? My friends keep me grounded. They’re the ones texting and calling me when I’ve been at the office too long. They teach me that although I’m a talker, sometimes the stories just need to be shorter. However, even after all these years (and countless stories) they’re always the first ones who will stop and listen.

Roomies_2_july_2011_-_copy

Jess – The listener: I spent more time in her room than my own talking about my life. And most of those trips ended with me wearing an entire ensemble compiled from her closet.

Sarah – The adventurer: She sees things in photos professionals come up with and motivates me to seek opportunities outside of my comfortable bubble.

Katy – The free spirit: My girly tomboy who taught me to be bold and improves my confidence by reminding me, why be anyone else?

The post shared by Valerie Simon about her college roommate, Meg, demonstrates the strength these friendships hold. After learning of her friend’s cancer diagnosis, Valerie reached out to her social media network in hopes of securing a $2 donation from friends to offset medical costs. She chose $2 as it seemed she and her roommate could always find $2 to head out to a local bar during college. We were invited to raise a toast in support of #TeamMeg.

So here’s your reminder to call your college roommate, kindergarten best friend and anyone in between. Our relationships define us. What do yours say about you?

Dance as a Community

May 1, 2011

Communities are created through a variety of ways: location, relationships and special interests to name a few.

 

While back on campus at the University of Illinois for my college dance team’s spring show I thought a lot about not only how people come together through shared interests, but what makes their communities continue to grow.

 

Here’s how the Illini ‘N Motion Dance Troupe maintains a community.